Chat: This Week

This week has walked the tightrope between being ‘not much’ and ‘an awful lot’.

I’ve ticked off two things on my ‘to do’ list for the year – I went to a ballroom dancing class. So much fun. I was nervous about it at the time but it was rewarding to do, if only because I felt so proud of myself afterwards. And I discovered that I actually quite like dancing. I’ve had my suspicions on this for a while, normally my inhibitions and anxiety hold me back. But if I left them go, I can actually enjoy myself. Who knew. 

I went to a yoga class after much trials and tribulations. My confidence of yoga seems to dissipate the second I try to do it outside my room. For some reason, I found doing this more fraught with worry than the dance class I did. I tried to go to one on Wednesday and didn’t manage it, tried again on Saturday and really enjoyed it.  I did a handstand! I haven’t done one in years.

I haven’t managed to post much this week, which I feel bad about. My goal is to post at least once a week, and whilst I seem to have many ideas, I have trouble bringing them to fruition. My camera remains untouched despite buying batteries and cables and tripods and all the things I need. So I’m frustrated about myself in that aspect.

Also, I’ve been panicking about finishing university and about the fact I don’t know what I want to do. I’m scared that I’ll never achieve anything. Then some days, I think about how glad I’ll be when I’m not up til 11pm 7 days a week trying to write essays and prepare my work for the next week. I don’t know what I think. Or what to dooooo.

On that note, there’s my week. A mixture of pride, frustration and crippling anxiety. Woo!

P.S. Still watching Dickensian I;m actually into it now, definitely wasn’t expecting that. But I feel so sorry for all of the characters because I know what’s going to happen! Heart breaking.

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